A "Thankful" Epiphany ...

I miss Virginia a ridiculous amount. I mean, truly PATHETICALLY miss Virginia...Oh let me just tell you how much...

I miss it so much, at times, in quiet/secret moments, it takes my breath away and I sob. I think I began missing it the moment I knew we were moving while, unknowingly, we still had five more months there! But at that point I'd entered a kind of fog, shock maybe, that's only lifted in the past few months, freeing me to feel the heart/home sickness I'd stowed away. This is completely silly, but I miss it so much I've even tried making up my own Virginia ballads, sonnets or such that would share this bizarre and I must admit inordinate amount of intense emotion, justifying the tears of longing I have for flowering trees, rolling hills, painted valleys, near shorelines and close horizons...
 

There. I have been wanting to share that for some time...and I did. Without crying, without feeling sorry for myself...as if it were just a fact of my life, one to acknowledge for a point. And what point would that be? I'm so glad you asked!

 

I was talking with my daughter today, this very day, about missing VA (she misses it too) and while I acknowledge to her how I missed it too, I mentioned the several dozen wondrous "signs" God has given to remind us, he knows, he cares, he sees, he is with us, he is for us and he loves us...more than we love VA. AS I was recounting to her this list, I quoted Philippians 4:6 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."

 

And suddenly, and I mean SUDDENLY, there was a paradigm shift in my understanding of that verse..."With Thanksgiving" caught me by surprise...such surprise, it took my breath away and I began to cry...let me explain:

 

FOR DECADES I have always thought and prayed to the Lord with that verse in mind...in the midst of certain issues I basically have thought: "I need to come up with some things to be thankful for because, well, otherwise I'm an ingrate and what better way to NOT get my problems solved! So, okay, God, let me think...think, think, think (Winnie the Pooh moment) what can I be thankful for?"

 

Dear ones, own heart...I feel like I've uncovered a pearl in this truth: The Lord doesn't ask us to come up with random things to thank him for in the midst of a trial, or even to thank him for the trial itself parse (although that shows a measure of faith and is good too). Rather, He wants us to come with thanksgiving, acknowledging the gifts of what HE has already planted in the midst of that trial.

It is an honoring act of faith before the Lord, as in our obedience, we prove HIM our faithful Father by looking for the things that God has placed, in advance, WITHIN our trials, the sole objective first and foremost to be able to thank him. It's not only always simply saying, "Thank you for this trial, I'm sure I'm going to learn something from it at some point." Rather a heart attitude that trusts, like my children trust me, to do good and not evil towards them, not just in the future outcome, but in the present circumstance! To trust that God is who he claims to be to those who have trusted Jesus as both Lord and Savior, that he is our Father and as a Father, he has provided hope in the situation, because he who cautions us, "Do not frustrate your children" does not frustrate us. On that note: if we are frustrated, that originates in us and a heart of unbelief that does not trust He is Good and the giver of Good Gifts and then searches for the One who "satisfies the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with goodness"! ~ Understand context of the frustration of which I'm writing...

It has been only 9 years since my walk of faith began with the Lord. A walk which embraced not only His Salvation by way of the cross, but also His Lordship over my life and all that that entails, and it's like I've been given new eyes, seeing even in the darkest of times in my life the light that was always there, is always there, illuminating moments, circumstances, provision within the times of hurt, failure, disappointment, and sorrow for and to those who know him and those who are of "The Called, according to his purposes."

And in this I begin to get a clearer glimpse of the One who has called me his child and he my Father.

Below is a list of the incredible wonders that God has infused our longing situation with "good things". It is my list, but you are welcome to look and marvel with me! :)

A main road a mile from our house is, I kid you not, Virginia Blvd.

The street that we would take every day in VA because I was too scared to cross over traffic so I'd go down to the traffic light: McKinney!

I lamented the fact that we wouldn't be seeing our beautiful crepe myrtles in bloom again. I even posted a picture on FB of my beautiful tree! McKinney is called: the crepe myrtle capital of TEXAS!

We had such snow, the likes of which haven't been seen in 80 years by some newspaper accounts.

Everywhere we've moved, we have struggled to find a church to belong to...we found one within one month of being here.

I didn't want to do yard work after doing it all myself in Lynchburg for five months. We have like NO yard here!!! 

We got into a CC group that accepted us, welcomed us and put absolutely no pressure on us to "perform" because frankly, we didn't have it other than to do the bare essentials!

We can walk everywhere, with trails and paths leading to parks and ponds/lakes...I have high hopes of loosing the weight I packed on while I was juggling everything without Rick in VA, I didn't have time to care about my body, and frankly I just went with it! Already starting to see progress!
(a praise with this: My right heel, that has been giving me excruciating pain for the past 2 years, after a fall down some stairs, seems to be all better! At least my increased gym time attendance hasn't brought it out!)

Facebook and email (for you dear friends who have not drunk the fb "Kool Aid"~ private joke) has been a lifeline to friends back home. I'm not on it too much, but it has been just enough to aid me through some difficult, transitional times. I'm blessed by you!

 

Two weeks before Texas was just a place as far to me as China seems, I saw a news clip on the George W. Bush Presidential library, and I thought, I'd like to visit that! I wonder where it's located...Texas? Whatever! Well...We'll be visiting it in the next month or so!

 

We got to see the Alamo and the famous River Walk!

 

I know what it is to long for a land where my heart resides and not know when I shall be called home.

The list does go on...as does His grand benevolence, starting, of course, with Himself...

 

For the Christian Woman who, like me, WANTS to read "50 Shades of Grey"

God desires me to be genuine, authentic, REAL about my faith…so here goes… The truth:

I WANT to read 50 Shades of Grey...I want to read it so badly I cried...actually cried.

For those of you who read that and say, “What? Cried? Really?”  I say, “Yes. REALLY. CRIED.” And I rejoice for you that you have no idea, reason or reckoning that something like this book could bring this Austen/Shakespeare loving, Mommy to two beautiful little girls, Jesus Girl to actually cry out to God and tell Him honestly, “I want a reason to give in…to feel good, entitled even, about this teensy weensy indulgent read.”

You see, for ALL of my teenage years I didn’t just read trashy romance novels….I ABSORBED them. How did it start? My mother, who finds no enjoyment in anything fiction and was at one time an ad vide nonfiction reader on just about any topic…was given a book by a friend who raved about this book. It had the most beautiful princess in a light blue gown laying in the lap of a handsome man on the bank of cliffs somewhere oversees. I was maybe 9 and I was dusting behind the couch and it was a forgotten book on the bottom shelf. 

Sin finds a match to our hearts...know that for your children…and I surely met mine.

I found this book, and subsequently other like books, gave an easy, instant fix to heart cries I didn’t even know I had. To be wanted, to be “loved”, to be needed, to be desirable, to be held with regard…for someone to go to the greatest heights and depths for me…uh, I mean…for the beautiful damsel. It was tantalizing, sensationally, and for a moment in time…satisfying even.

 Now, I was not popular in school…at all really…but I fit in okay with the drama crowd and was even accomplished enough to get some star leads and the Principle’s Medallion for the Dramatic Arts my senior year in High School, a time when it was all about ME. Even so, I do remember this…the most popular, beautiful, intelligent (our junior year she won some huge award for some national test beating out people statewide –academics was not my strong suit so I have no idea what the test was J) THIS girl, who could herself have been on any one of those covers, traded these books…with me.

Back then, I just thought it a neat thing we shared…now I realize…trashy romance novels are not just for the “poor, obscure, plain and little”…they are for those who desperately want to FEEL loved…even if it’s sex based, even if it’s twisted. And a virgin can be counted before God just as promiscuous as a seasoned cheerleader hiding an abortion from her father.

Reading, for women, makes the emotional connection, that easy "fix". But it doesn’t last…and you want to read more of the same, and most often racier things…But then, if you’ve battled this…you know that already.

So…what happened with me now? Why am I at peace, writing about this…knowing that, for now, the battle has been waged and won…I no longer have that persistent nagging and secret desire to read it. But how? How is it I don't have that dread of coming across yet another well-meaning Christian on facebook ~from beloved John Piper and Kirk Cameron, to well-known and celebrated Jesus Girls getting on the “Why 50 Shades of Grey is bad” ban wagon that has actually brought this struggle to the forefront, instead of being a distant memory of a sin I once indulged. Which, frankly, is not a bad thing…and they have lots of accurate things to say about why it is just plain wrong from lots of angles. So if you want to find out the “why it’s bad” go there…I agree TOTALLY…while STILL wanting desperately to read it!~

AND I would love to say it’s because I know my Lord better now than I did when I was a teen, and THANK YOU LORD, that is true, I do know You more, I’ve walked WITH YOU and you have testified to my heart of your faithfulness, over and over and over in so many ways I want to weep for the reality that YOU SEE ME and you have done and are doing on my behalf…but...that’s not it.

And I’d love to say I used lots of scripture and ‘cast out the demon’ so to speak…and yes, I did a lot of  reminding myself of His words, and promises in scripture that are there for ALL in Christ. Reminding myself that he has “satisfied my longing soul” before…but no that didn't quench the want to.

And I’d like to say I’m in such a better place than I was when I was a teen…that I don’t have feelings of littleness, or obscurity…And though my girls are a sweet reminder of God’s love and blessing, the fact is life is REALLY hard right now, and I’m suck in the middle of a place I once dismissed as far away as China…In fact...in many ways I’m more lonely that I’ve ever been…so no… that’s not it either.

You want to know what broke the pull, the yearning, the wanting…being real with God…I finally, FINALLY did what He tells us to do when we are caught in something we don’t see the way out of and sometimes don’t want a way out of…”IF you confess your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and CLEANS US from all unrighteousness!”  Those aren’t just words on a paper…every word of that promise is a pact sent from the heart of our Creator to our broken souls longing for something to fill in what ONLY HE was meant to fill…

For the weeks that this struggle has been I said a few broken sentences born of frustration…words that  amounted to something like: I WANT to read this dumb book more than I want YOU and it doesn’t help that everywhere I am…there is something reminding me of what I want more than YOU!

 

And there is was…the REAL sin.

You know Jonah?

Big fish, bleached skin, Nineveh spared…yeah him.

Some say he never repented…But there are those who think the Book of Jonah IS his repentance. Repentance does not always say the same thing, “Dear Lord, I’m sorry I’m such a sinner and I’ve done this deed.” The heart is not always so coherent, nor the tongue so eloquent.

Often…It is the heart of surrender under the weight of something we CAN’T fight that the Lord honors and rushes in to cover, to rescue and to restore. That we may know where our strength comes from and say with glad, thankful hearts words from the Psalmist, “My strength comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth!”

Not a review: "How the Irish Saved Civilization" and the Great Lie

Just finished reading "How the Irish Saved Civilization: The Untold Story of Ireland's Heroic Role from the Fall of  Rome to the Rise of Medieval Europe" by Thomas Cahill.

So many things I want to say about it.

First, I loved it! Cahill is an excellent writer and clearly showcased the fact that God made Ireland a lighthouse during a very dark time in history. He did it in such a way I was hardly aware I was doing research or reading history (which was once my worst subject!...I mean really, why learn about dead people and their lives...they are dead...so was my darkened perspective in school.) I think I also loved this book because of the way it's written. It's history with story. Not fictional, though Cahill includes some of that, but he includes poetry and fun facts! He writes with eloquence, humor, passion and an idea of objectivity which was as refreshing as it was ignoble.

Need to mention, during the first chapter, I almost put the book down on several occasions because he was so very anti-English and I couldn't discern at times if it was because he's of Irish decent OR if it's more of a Catholic/Protestant thing. Then he started quoting people like C.S.LEWIS and G.K.CHESTERTON and several times, through various quotes of persons or scripture, Thomas shares the true Gospel...Salvation by grace through faith.

Unfortunately though, it is as I suspected, though exposed to the truth, Cahill does not know it. This may put his book in question, and normally I'd concur; however, I don't believe that to be the case and my reasoning follows...

The historical time period of which Thomas Cahill is writing is a kind of "in between" world. There was only one church. There wasn't Catholic or Protestant...just Christianity. Some in the church knew the truth, some did not. Many would say it is that way today still (I will address that shortly). Cahill is able to tell the story without bias or religious prejudices as it was a time prior to the Reformation and even though the Roman Church played a very small part (if any) in Patrick's mission in Ireland...it's still there by association. Any which way you slice it, Patrick was still a monk of the existing church of the day, at least for a time.  So, Patrick's testimony in his Confession is interpreted not in light of his words (at least in modern time) rather in light of his appointment in the church and good works as a missionary to Ireland.

This brings me to the "Great Lie". Time and again, I came across convincing clues, ideas, quotes and thoughts that led me to hope the writer, Thomas Cahill, might actually KNOW the truth of Salvation. Titus 3:5. But it was just that...hope and wish. In the end, he clearly defends the Catholic perspective of good works, not as a product/proof of salvation, rather as a needful co-existence with the work of Christ. This is vital to understand the difference. When a Catholic says, "I trust Christ as my Savior" that's not the end of the conversation! That just makes the Believer, listening for the "buzz" words, more comfortable! I've done it too! HOW SELFISH ARE WE!

I have so many friends who say, "I know someone who is saved in the Catholic church and then look at me like I'm the one who should be called into question. And really, what do you say to that? I say, "Wow, if they are saved, be praying for them, because they WILL be ostracized and it doesn't take YEARS for that to happen." Everybody knows when a light is lit in a dark place...Those who want it there...those who don't.

I JUST met a woman working out at the gym who got saved and was ostracized by her Catholic Church and had to leave...I did not solicit this info, she just started giving her testimony on how she was born again and the happenings there. (I think she was trying to witness to me because I said "I'm not Baptist...though we are going to a Baptist Church"! God has a sense of humor!) Too, growing up, I knew a woman who was asked to leave the church and directed to a Protestant church, where, given her questions, "she'd be more comfortable". Not only that, my husband, my Aunt Catherine and a couple other relations I know were once Catholic too...There was a reason for the Reformation!!! The Catholic Church has not changed...we have. How that saddens the soul...

Now, please understand, I'm not saying Protestant is synonymous with salvation!! Oh my word, no! But what I am saying is that saying "A lot of Catholics are saved" is like saying a lot of Muslims are saved. Because a lie is a lie is a lie, no matter how pretty that lie is, or how close or far from the truth is strays...it's still a lie...and in that there is hope...hope that we can share the truth of the Gospel...that when Christ said, "It is finished!" he meant it! That the good works that believers do, aren't for our salvation, but for our Christ who gave himself for us that we might live for him.

So, read "How the Irish Saved Civilization" while reading the Gospels of how Christ saves sinners! I pray, as offensive as this post is (Didn't Christ promise it would be offensive), it will nettle those who disagree to seek THE Way, THE Truth, and THE Life for themselves...and that God will grant faith, wisdom and understanding as we draw close to him. Amen.

About Patricius: Patrick of Ireland

Think back to your high school days.

Remember for a moment that certain young man from school so many teenage girls loved to have a crush on? The party loving, beer guzzling, happy-go-lucky boy born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a heritage of power and prestige at his back, pushing him along through life...

Do you have that teenage boy in mind? Well...THAT was Patrick as a teenager!

And then, not so tragically as it turns out, at the height of his carefree, partying life, he was kidnapped from his home in Britain and sold into slavery, at the age of 16, by the Irish Celts to one of the many Kings in Ireland. (Aside: The Kings were more like the Lords of England, operating with absolute authority on their own patch of earth~ Though the Druids throughout all the Celts in Ireland could pull these Kings together as they had need.)

At this point, I'm going to point out some things you should recognize about his upbringing to understand some of the key points I'm going to make about his life and beliefs. As a child and youth, he was exposed heavily to scripture. And, if the normal religious practice of the day is to be upheld, he was likely baptized as an infant for the remission of sin ~ I'm not saying that is correct theology, I'm saying that is the practice of the Roman Church as seen in The Council of Carthage, in 253 (100+ years before Patrick was born).

This is where it gets interesting...

In his confessions, Patrick admits he did not know God until he repented of his sins and trusted in Christ, while a slave in Ireland. His insistence of this state of separation of his soul from God, and his acknowledgement of the existence and working of both original and actual sin in his life, causes his own family to disown him while at the height of his missionary work in Ireland. Forcing him to write his own Confessional...now a days we'd simply call it a testimonial.

Now, during his time as a slave and after his conversion to Christ, Patrick, in desperation and homesickness, drew near to God, praying and crying out to Him in all elements of raw weather, cold and alone and captive. An answer came; he heard a voice telling him where to go and how to escape captivity. (A remarkable story of exactness and wonder! If you've the chance to read it, I'll put up the link to the translation of Patrick's Confessions at the bottom of this post. It's a thrilling account of his life and a scripture filled testimony that mirrors any true believer's heart cry!)

Now, if you have a problem with him hearing voices (previously, I would have, so I understand) I urge you to keep in mind, the Voice didn't give him a "new" Gospel or Revelation...it helped him have hope and light during a horrible, dark time for Patrick. It is important to note, Patrick never mentions hearing a voice like this after escaping, neither does he showcase it as a sort of spiritual proof-texting. He simply states what he heard.

Also, Patrick is singular in more than one way. Missionaries went all over the Roman Republic to seek converts to Christianity. Patrick was the first to go to a people outside the protection of Rome, weak as the Republic was and within years of the sacking of Rome itself, it was a thing not done and vehemently opposed!

Patrick almost didn't make it back to Ireland. He met with SO much hostile opposition at home and from church officials, that had he been uncertain of his calling, he would have given up.  The turning point came when he realized the church officials never intended to let him go to Ireland. They stalled and they made up reasons for him to not go, so much so, he finally had enough and left without blessing and without support from the established Church. So firmly did he know where his support and blessing came from, that he seemed to count the lack of human support as no great loss. And apparently...it wasn't!

The more I find out about this Patrick of Ireland...the more I am in wonder of the God who called him back to a land that enslaved him, to be a light and a beacon to the hope of his calling in Christ Jesus. The magnitude and measure of those who came to Christ in Ireland scarred the Roman Church. Little did they know, you can't stop the fire of the HOLY SPIRIT...

When Patrick finally returned to Ireland, he did what the bishops were afraid he'd do...Patrick  preached the Gospel he found in the Gospels! Salvation by repentance and belief and that these can only come by the Grace of God to an unbeliever's cold, dark heart! For this, his converts were murdered by paid warriors sent by the same church officials that brought him up.

For this, too, Patrick of Ireland was excommunicated by the Roman Church officials of his hometown and presumable the papacy for heretical teachings...but only AFTER Patrick excommunicated the whole order of priest and bishops for their heretical teachings.

About the snakes...The serpents everyone hears about Patrick forcing out of Ireland...are most likely a euphemism for the murderers' being repelled out of Ireland. Given the gravity of the times and the historical relevance of the converted Irish people through the obedience of one man to the working of the Holy Spirit in his life...I have no problem believing there were great wonders and miracles done in Christ's name for the drawing together a people known for habitually sacrificing their own children for the smallest of reasons...the ushering in of Spring! It was considered an honor to have your child picked to be sacrificed! Oh the darkness that steals our children away...

Concerning the signs and wonders...Patrick himself is silent. He is such a humble man...and he is a true follower of Christ, after the order of Paul himself who determined to boast only in Christ! So though many Irish legends and myths surround Patrick...we don't know what the signs or wonders were...but that's okay...isn't the wonder of what happened in Ireland, enough?

I find it very interesting, that in the Confession of Saint Patrick, Patrick only quotes the canonized scripture...But for his letter of accusation against the murders of the converts in Ireland to the Roman Church, he quotes anything they deemed as scripture in order to present his case to darkened minds. Didn't the Lord do the same with Saul of Tarsus, "It is a hard thing for you to kick against the pricks" a Greek proverb taken from the self-same literature.

Aside from the wondrous conversion to Christ for/of the religious Druids and Celts of Ireland, there is an mind blowing, game changing, historically relevant result called the preservation of civilization by and through these same Irish converts that the world RARELY remembers...And that is:

When all of Europe was plunged into the Dark Ages, a time when the remnants of the Roman Republic crumbled to nothing and the sacking, plundering and burning of learned cities and the books of knowledge and understanding, a time poised to forget through loss in a single generation...much less generations...the converted of Ireland and their children's children and beyond became a sort of lighthouse of civilization.

They took up the monstrous task of collecting, preserving and transcribing not only scripture, but also the ancient literary works and ideas of the Greeks and Romans. This "opportunes" an enlightened moment in history, creating for the peoples of Ireland a little known and rarely recognized period in history called the Irish Renaissance where advancement in architecture, literature and all other art forms THRIVED! Another reigning example of "Blessing, they were also blessed!"

http://www.ancienttexts.org/library/celtic/ctexts/p01.html

"Off" Facebook Part One

Well, it's been a month since deciding to let Facebook go. Well, sort of. Actually, I'm still on it, even though I'm "off" it. I still keep in touch with people via messages and still have my honey page open. but that's it. I don't look at the news feed...AT ALL. I actually put a sheet/ blanket, my hand, anything to cover up seeing what's on News Feed.

If you are reading this you many either be a friend or some random person who stumbled upon this post in your google/bing search. Whichever, please don't be alarmed; I'm not going to bash Facebook or people still "on" it. In fact, a couple years ago, I went to a gathering once where the people were so full of their own "coolness" because they weren't on Facebook, it was nauseating. That somehow, that meant they had a life and the people on Facebook, by default, don't.

Never the one to shut up simply because I'm the only one that thinks a certain way in a crowd...I had no problem gently pointing out to all these very "cool" people that Facebook actually has a LOT to recommend it! The amount of encouragement I've received and I hope have given over the years can NOT be measured. The laughs and the rejoicing with, the prayers and the shared sadness over things that concern dear friends, distant friends, once upon a time friends, has been WONDERFUL. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.

I miss it even now.

But, I found, that though there are some wonderful blessings of being a part of this sort of culture we call Facebook, I found my very soul was being distracted and even pelted by themes, thoughts and sometimes even lies I had to continually combat throughout the day. It was like I was putting myself in a lovely minefield time after time.

Until one day, about a month ago, a mine blew up and I didn't even know it until I leaned closer to the computer to understand what I was looking at, because my mind could not make sense of it. And when I finally realized what I was looking at, my soul trembled and cries came out of me that I haven't heard since I was in labor.

You know, I used to look at the news feed in Facebook about 3 times a day...at least. (And no, as far as time taken from my day, for me, that wasn't excessive. Trust me, I came from a place of "excessive" a number of years ago, thank you LORD!) Anyway, I loved it! I loved seeing what friends (close/distant/once upon a time) were up to and doing and where they were going...I loved sharing in the same! I loved praying with and being prayed for when needs arose. I even loved being in the know about politics and doing my own sticking my neck out instead of sticking it in the sand type promotion...but the thing is...we can't see these kinds of things and not be affected. In the space of less than a minute, my view of the news feed on Facebook was altered. (an aside: If that doesn't give great hope for the deep struggles of our lives, I don't know what does! In a moment in time, He can change us. He is ABLE...and it has to start with His Son.)

God says, "The Lot is tossed into the lap, and the dividing of it is of the Lord." 

I trust in the sovereignty of God, while understanding that though we are to be wise, we are NOT to be wise in the venues of evil. To that end, I believe I was never meant to see what I saw, to KNOW it in it particulars. It was a picture...it wasn't an event in my life. There is a huge difference. But because I was willful and naïve, I think the Lord allowed this breach...reminding me to be "careful little eyes...little ears...little hands...little feet."

A greater caution: listen to the warnings He gives along the way...there were so many, yet I shrugged them off. Had I listened, perhaps my now repulsed response to Facebook would not be so extreme. Perhaps I would have simply blocked certain persons and still enjoyed the many benefits I still believe Facebook can offer...I think it is a freedom we have that I can no longer enjoy. The fact of the matter is, I actually hate entering Facebook territory now. For those that know me...It's like having to answer the phone.

It was told to me that we need to know about this kind of evil in the world so we can better defend against it. My heart cries, we are not God. This fact may be one of the reasons He wrote Romans 16:19 "...but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil." Perhaps he also wrote it to keep us from feeling too much of "the weight of what [life] brings and the hurt that tries to grab..."

Getting "off" Facebook is FOR ME simply one more step in the process of releasing this world...because the truth that I cling to is...

"There Will Be A Day"
By Jeremy Camp

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

[Chorus]
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you're walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you've walked out all alone

[Chorus]

Troubled soul don't lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that's in store
Outweighs the hurt of life's sting

I can't wait until that day where the very one I've lived for

always will wipe away the sorrow that I've faced

To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing

 

 

"Off" Facebook Part Two will be brief and deal with what I do now with all this extra time I have on my hands! I Jest! Sorry, I still have the same 24hrs I always did...and they still get gone :) But there are things that I've learned and would like to share in being off the news feed! Will do so soon~ Thanks for reading! ~Alicha

 



"Covert Affairs" not a review...not YET :)

Okay, so this is not a review, rather a thought rabbit trailed by the most recent episode. I will be reviewing it in time but for now I've got this to share...Was watching an episode today, WHILE working-out on my mini trampoline ;) , and was really bothered by one of the evil characters in the story, his words, position and power.

On the screen, Henry Wilcox, a character given almost God-like qualities, was boasting in these and I knew the moment my flesh started to draw similarities between my Lord and this evil man. But then questions came to mind "What's the writer's point here? Where is this going?"

Slight Aside: I've learned in the past decade, questions that challenge my faith are good because my faith doesn't depend on me...it depends on Him. And always, EVERY TIME, He answers. He alone is faithful...He tells us, "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you."

Think about it, how do we draw near to people, break faulty assumptions and actually find out who someone is? We ask questions. Sometimes hard questions even if sometimes those questions are about something that may have a semblance of truth wrapped around a putrid lie and you need help figuring out what's what. You can not do this without the truth of God's Word. "For the Word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than any two edged sword...piercing even to the dividing asunder of Soul and of Spirit and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

Back to the episode in progress: Suddenly, in the middle of the argument, the man faltered in his verbal assault and shouted at his victim, "I held out my hand and pulled you out of the fire!"

At that line, the lies lost their grip and truth shined, dispelling the shadows.

I used to think God, being God, was there to pull us out of the fires of our lives and then the Big one at the end. But I've since learned God's endgame and it's NOT fire insurance. Please tell my you know that...I'm sure you suspected...Even I did.

For believers in the LORD. JESUS. CHRIST.,(each name is important to comprehend) our lives are to bring Him Glory, for our Betterment. That dual relationship of "His Glory, Our Good" is showcased perfectly by his Word.

He doesn't stand outside fires cheering us on or letting us get burned...he walks through the fire WITH us, promising we will not be burned, neither shall the flame kindle upon us...

What a beautiful contrast! 

Rebounding on a Mini Trampoline: Game plan for bodyshaping and weightloss:

Okay, so here's the deal...

Every time I get serious about getting in shape, 2 months into it, something happens! (JUST FYI ~despite some uninformed person's idea of body weight,  I'm only 5lbs outside the healthy weight range parameters and 12 lbs away from where I'd be pleased to be which is 115 lbs. I'm still a solid size 6 in a short frame. and I can still get into my size 4 shorts (rather tight though :) But, as we may all know, size 6 on a shortie might as well be size 10 on a tall person!)

So, this is what has happened each time:
1st time: got very sick
2nd time: got pregnant with my second baby girl
3rd time: got very sick (have since come up with a great tonic that helps nip these awful colds in the bud!
4th time: health issue came up but not sickness related
5th time (that would be now): I have hurt my right heel.

Now, every step can be excruciating, depending on the kind of day and activity level that day or the day before. I'm not sure what happened. May have happened by not stretching the way I should have after a run. I used to think stretching was for older people...it is and now I faithfully stretch!

I fell down some stairs about 6 months ago and landed heavily on that heel. But that seems unlikely as it was fine between the time I healed up and the time I got back into running. Sometimes it seems to be getting better, sometimes it seems to be getting worse. I've bought a cheap foot support to sleep with to keep my foot in an upright position and I NEVER go without some type of cushion on my feet. Right now, the pain seems to be in a holding pattern and somewhat manageable.

This I think is do to rebounding...or jumping on a mini trampoline! I've only been doing it for 4 days, 2x a day for 25-45 min. depending on if I'm going to the gym or not that day. But I'm really enjoying it! And unlike me sucking it up and forcing myself to go to the gym for an hour and dreading the horrific pain afterwards, I'm not in any worse shape after I get off the rebounder, than when I get on it...in fact, I'd say I'm a little better (except for swelling in the heel) when I get off. likely this is due to stretching of the leg and calf muscles while on the trampoline!

My game plan is as follows:

Eat normally with caution and 4 -5 glasses of water/white tea a day. (I'm never going to be a dieter. I think that's just a foolish way of setting yourself up, especially with a family to feed. Also, I'm not a big eater~I can have one or two chips and leave the bag, or not have any at all, not a big deal to me) I'm just watching what I eat a bit and being careful to add some protein to a carb when I have one. I'm not a big sweet eater, though I will say I've had to put the breaks on certain places like Panera's and Starbucks. Which, once I'm away from, I don't miss. I read the Hilton Head Beach diet and I believe my issue is my metabolism slowing down than anything. I actual take in less calories than I did 10 years ago...or just as many...only now I'm having weight gain. Oh and portions. I am going to try filling my plate to my norm and then only eating half of it, enjoying each bite. If I'm still hungry, I'll have the rest of the plate...but at least I'm eating with intention.

Work out on the rebounder at least 2x a day 6-7 days a week. Once in the morning while the girls are getting ready for the day, right after breakfast and once either after lunch or after dinner. Keeping the time between 25-45 minutes depending on what other activities I'll be engaging in that day.

I plan to go to the gym 3-4 times a week and then either 1-2 days a week walk or do something energetic with the girls. (Today we went outside in the rain for 20 minutes! It was really fun and spontaneous totally crazy :)

This sounds very involved, but doing this so far this week for 4 days, it's really be a blast and has added focus to my day. I have a lot to do...and I'm more aware of the time that ticks by!

Now, how do I feel rebounding? Wonderful! I have a Reebok  rebounder from Target it was around $35. It doesn't squeak at all and it doesn't cost $600-$900 for a high end rebounder.

I'm having fun, my skin looks radiant afterwards, I still have energy afterwards and knowing I expend more calories on it than running on a treadmill (or any other machine/or running outside) and that I'm naturally changing/shaping my core by even just being on the trampoline, just makes me want to get on it more! I love that I'm doing one of the best exercises for my body known to man!

I FEEL my muscles are fatigued (especially my butt and thighs) but there's no pain :) LOVING IT!

Next week's plan is to fatigue my lower body prior to one of the rebounding workouts by going up and down the stairs in an intentional way, not rushing, but concentrating on slow and steady. I'll give an update in about a week. I'm thinking to only check my weight every 2 weeks until I really see some changes in my clothes (which I've already seen some loosening...although I KNOW that's just water right now, still nice to feel!) Bye for now!

Local, Creamed, Raw Honey!!!

I'll be back shortly, just need to get a new endeavor underway!

So come on over and see what the buzz is about! ~

 http://mrsbeescreamedrawhoney.blogspot.com/

Have a great weekend!~A.

"Flashpoint" TV Series Reviewed

I like to watch TV shows from Netflix's instant play while folding clothes or while cleaning an especially messy room...like my bedroom! :)  It's my "thing". Well, while doing my thing, I discovered a series which, to my utter amazement, has quickly become my favorite show...perhaps of all time!.

Flashpoint is a show created in 2008 and from what I can tell, has just finished it's 5th and final series brought to us by Canadian TV. The premise: Team One of the Strategic Response Unit (SRU) is a division of the police force (a cop show, people!) that is brought in usually during a crisis, such as a hostage is taken or a prison take over.

Now, I have never taken to cop shows. While I very much enjoy detective shows that are usually fun and endearing, like Monk or Murder She Wrote, I can't even think of one cop show I've even glanced at. They seem too "us" against "them" or too many times it's about underhandedly outwitting the criminal (like the Closer), leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Yet, Flashpoint's premise intrigued me. I watched episode one, and I was hooked. But what I've noticed with some series, often the meat of the show shifts, the writers either lose focus or content, and so they start making the episodes about the characters' lives in a very soap opera type way. I'm thrilled to say this didn't happen with Flashpoint.

True, the episodes brought out elements of struggle and simple "reality" of living...making the characters real and believable. Otherwise, it'd have been like watching a comic strip of heroes, brave, amazing souls, without damaged lives of their own. To my delight, though, the writers never turned these life details into the story. They only used the details to flesh out each episode, and in my opinion, they did a superb job of it!

Team One of the SRU's motto: Connect, Respect, Protect.

Over and over the characters faced challenges, unknown elements, know facts that were misunderstood and yet they held to this motto to the letter. I have never seen a show so carefully show all sides of criminal behavior in an uncondoning way, seek to reach someone where they are at and then have such a high respect of life that even when the criminal becomes the hostage of a person who has every "right" to take that criminal's life, the focus shifts and the viewer (me) is confronted with his or her view of "Life" and the implications therein.

I must confess that Flashpoint's brilliant writing staff, and perfectly casted actors both of which has remain true to form through-out, has help me to confront some warped views of life and the value there of. A strange thing for a follower of Christ to realize and come to terms with as I've been inundated by the acting out of the team's motto during each episode time and again over the past few months.

I explore each aspect of the motto below and how it has impacted/challenged me personally. Feel free to read on if you'd like, but my review is done except to say, Flashpoint has done more than entertain me...it's inspired me.

Protect:

My inside chatter has been telling me something for a long time but until recently I haven’t recognized it’s impact in my life…lt’s been like a low hum, vibrating under all the regular chatter of my usual days.

 

It’s the lie that says life here on earth is a part of the curse. That the blessing of life is going home to be with the Lord when you die.

 

And although it’s true that all of the pain of life, the strife and heartache, will cease when we die, I’ve begun to understand that the life that God has given us here and now is the just the BEGINNING of the blessing of eternal life found in Christ.

 

You know, my oldest daughter is 7. She is alert and aware and incredibly curious. I’ve been cringing these past few weeks at every mention of the word “Abortion” or “Roe v. Wade” due to it’s 40 anniversary. I know that one day soon I will have to tell her, in the simplest terms what these words mean. For those who have walked this road, I’m sure it’s not like glossing over Santa Claus.It’s real and wrong and it’s reality is unthinkable…and it happens everyday, all day long in our land we call a “Christian Nation”.

 

But secretly, I think I’ve been “okay” with abortion because of this lie about life that has warped my mind. Because really, if the true blessing of living doesn’t come until after life on earth ends, then aren’t we doing all these babies a favor? Shocking that a Believer thinks that way, but that is the end of my thinking.

 

Flashpoint helped me realize this. Life is a blessing, not to be thrown away or tossed around lightly. It has value and impact and moments of extremes. It is to be treasured and protected.

Respect:
For a long time now, I have been growing, by God's grace, in the knowledge, understanding and correction to my behavior, that I have not always respected all people. I've picked and chosen who I'd give way to and who I wouldn't.

It isn't always clear cut either.

But slowly, as God opens the damaged places of feelings of inferiority in my heart to his healing perfect love...as I dwell in the hope and promise that I am a daughter in the Church of the First Born...I'm more able to act on the respect that God desires me to show to all people, young, old, rich, poor, sick, well, those in my own home and those that will never cross my threshold.

They are all deserving of respect. They are the image bearers of my God, my Lord and King. They are due the type of respect that honors their decisions as their own...and the consequences too. This is where a biblical understanding of "judge not according to the apperance of things, but judge righteous judgement" and our Lord's command to not have a condemning spirit, this is vitally important. This type of respect is a big part of loving the sinner, while hating the sin.

Connect:

I've been amazed by the writers for this show and their ability to tell the full story, for SRU Team 1 to pick at the "subject"'s (what they call the suspect) life. The faithfulness with which they gather and pursue all aspects of the subject's life, to get the big picture, all so they can relate better, and hopefully gain a better outcome than the one the subject has in mind.

I'm afraid, I can only liken it to Christ and his talk with the prostitute at the well. Of course, Jesus, being God, knew all things, but his drawing her out, connecting to her and then helping her face what she needed to, with the hope of what she actually needed present as well...I can only liken the character's words and actions in pursuit of connection with each threatening person in their world torn lives, as beyond beautiful and awesome to behold...indeed, it's Christlike. There is no higher compliment in the world for me to give.

Good/Bad ~ I finally GET IT!

You know that expression, "Take the good with the bad."

I finally understand what that means.

What I THOUGHT it meant was more of a compartmentalized version of the saying. Like, when bad comes your way, take it...because eventually good will come your way and then you take that too.

In a husband and wife relationship, likely any relationship, there is good and bad. What is my norm is to take the good when it comes and ride it high. Unfortunately for my husband, children and myself, when the bad comes, I'd take it and ride it low for all it's worth.

What I've recently discovered this expression actually means and a better phrase I believe: Allow the good to balance the bad.

You see, it is easy (for me) to think my husband is the most horrible person on the planet. I mean HITLER"S got nothin' on a guy that just ticked me off, pushed the wrong buttons, or turned the "blinding light" on for the 5th time that morning, all because he's been up for a while and thinks you've had enough "Zen" time.

How unbalanced!

What a misrepresentation of truth! My husband is a great guy, a fantastic salesman, someone who I believe literally can do ANYTHING he sets his mind to, a wonderful father a caring son and man in pursuit of the "how to's" of loving his wife!

It bothered me, the ferociousness with which I perceived and addressed every wrong! Like I'm going to stomp on it and squash it out. I'm not. I know I'm not and yet that's where I've let my emotions take me...into lies and deceit about a man I've melded my life to.

What has happened...this imbalance has pushed all truth from my mind when a difficulty arises and instead of dealing with the problem, issue at hand, I've perceived my husband as the problem and issue at hand and I do what I do with all problems...go into attack mode to fix it.

And we all know that's working well....NOT!

So it has been with a grateful heart, a heart needing to understand this for a great while, that I realized I need to remember the LOVING KINDNESS of my GREAT GOD, who gave me a husband with such amazing qualities that balance and even tip the scales back when things sometimes go south, as they most certainly do and will.

To keep my focus big and inclusive when dealing with relational hurts.

And didn't I vow to do just that, in sickness and health (the good and bad) til death do us part? How much easier it is when your husband is also seeking after the Lord! I'm blessed!

So what have YOU been learning about relationships??? Share below as you're led!

Comforted and Comforting, Happy New Year!

Taking down the tree this year came with a different sort of sound...My two year old wailing in the background!

I'll never forget that moment when she realized the tree was coming down and she let out a howl of despair. How were we to know? The child had barely glanced at the tree outside of a brief "Ohhhh!" when we put it up.

Well, for a time, no amount of hugs and assurances that "the tree will get put up again next year" and "Christmas is Christ, not Christmas trees" would work. Distraction was the key.

But I saw something of the magic, the essence, she'd experienced this year, the glimpse of a Light that went down with the tree. And I hate to admit to having, if not the exact expression of my daughter's feelings, than certainly the feelings themselves for nearly every Christmas I can remember...save this one.

There was always a sigh on Dec. 26th that had nothing to do with returning presents, or continued clean up from the day before. The wistful wish that the season would never end and the echoing chime of truth that's collected a bit of cloy over the years.

"Christmas is in the heart"
"Jesus is the reason for the Season"
"Let's keep the Christ in Christ-mas"
"Keep the Spirit of Christmas alive"

I can't tell you how many times I've forced myself to push beyond the feelings of loss and "Ho, Hum" the days and weeks just after Christmas.

That is, until this year.

As many of you know, I've been involved in a study on the book of Isaiah with a group called CBS. Back in early November, we got into Isaiah 7. There is a prophecy given there, one we are all so familiar with we could recite it in our sleep....and often do (figuratively speaking).

It was the person to whom the prophecy was given that caught me by surprise: King Ahaz.

King over Judah (the 2 southern most tribes of Israel), he'd turned the peoples hearts away from the Lord, doing what was evil in the sight of God.

We read the definition of his reign and gloss over it.

What many don't realize is the man, Ahaz, sacrificed HIS SON to a false god, in fire. There are so many things going on here that it's hard to focus. But as I wrapped my head around this one horrific sin of Ahaz, for the first time the true meaning of Christmas, the HEART of it, began to sink in and has "protected" me from the usual feelings of loss I've had after the season's passed.

It would be easy to dismiss Ahaz as cold and unfeeling and perhaps that's right. His heart really doesn't matter, because either way, whether the sacrifice of his son touched him or not, the fact remains Kings don't kill their sons. Unless they are certifiably mad, like the Herod of Jesus' day (of whom was this common saying, "it is better to be a pig in Herod's household than his son!")

As a self preserving rule of thumb, kings make as many sons as they possibly can...and endeavor to keep them safe in order to keep the kingdom in their lineage.

King Ahaz in particular. KNOW what HE knew. The Messiah was to come through him.

So, I think it fair to surmise, Ahaz must have seen GREAT GAIN in the sacrifice of his son. And I felt like a bird in a Sycamore tree watching as the prophet Isaiah stood before Ahaz. In a fraction of time, a moment sealed in the Word of God and my own heart, Ahaz knew intimately what few fathers can only guess at; he knew exactly what Abraham felt, yet without the relief, as the LORD declared to Abraham, "I will give MYSELF as a sacrifice."

And all at once the "Spirit of Christmas" came to me and I doubt it will ever leave.

For the first time, I gladly took down the Christmas decorations and looked at the empty spot where our tree stood with nothing other than observation and a question of "What did we have there before?"

No sense of loss. No wistful sighs. A season done, and into the next I carry with me two truths that came in the prophecy I've known since a child and now cherish as a Child.

Truth one comes from the prophecy in Isaiah: "Unto you (Ahaz, Alicha) a Child is born, Unto you a Son is given..." a promise given to a great sinner.

Truth two...The Heavenly Father, by the Holy Spirit, saw the hope of GREAT GAIN in sacrificing His only begotten Son. That "great gain" is me...that "great gain" is you.

And so, Christmas became for me this year in truth, what it has previously been to my heart only in theory and a sappy, fleeting sort of sentimentality:

The giving of The Son.

                                      *                              *                                *

May you read with understanding:

Isaiah 7:10-13 NKJV

¹⁰ Moreover the Lord spoke again to Ahaz, saying, ¹¹ “Ask a sign for yourself from the Lord your God; ask it either in the depth or in the height above.”
¹² But Ahaz said, “I will not ask, nor will I test the Lord!”
¹³ Then he said, “Hear now, O house of David! Is it a small thing for you to weary men, but will you weary my God also?
¹⁴ Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.^[a]

Isaiah 9:6-7

New King James Version (NKJV)

⁶ For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
⁷ Of the increase of His government and peace
There will be no end,
Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,
To order it and establish it with judgment and justice
From that time forward, even forever.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.

 

Ticked and Ticking off People, Merry Christmas!

This post is for Believers who Love their Lord and truly desire to serve Him. Anyone else feel free to read, but you're not going to understand where I'm coming from...

Soooo, a few months ago, I was accosted by someone at church over teaching my children about the Greek/ Roman gods.

First off, I was in a BAD place, raw from leaving a church and people I regarded as family and though I pride myself on not gossiping or "being in the know" even I (being in a small Classical Conversation community) had heard about this woman about a year before...so you may have heard about her too!

Anyway, I completely shut her down/off/out, dismissing her claims that I'm teaching my daughter to worship false gods. She has since left the church (nothing to do with this) but if I ever see her again, I will ask her forgiveness for my dismissive attitude that was quite disrespectful. But my words I believe were appropriate...I would repeat them to the letter if asked/questioned again.

But because I really believe that as believers what we say and do has value and worth simply because of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, I began to consider this woman's words once I'd calmed down, asking the Lord if there was something from Him for me to think about in her words. And though I still find her view on the whole Greek/Roman gods discussion a literary handicap for her children, I was SHOCKED as I began to to draw parallels between the practice of worshiping idols as shown in the bible and "Santa Claus" See below:


All present
All seeing/knowing
All powerful
Offer up food in honor of his coming.
Pointing to, cautioning for...awaiting his return
Given authority to reward or punish behavior


And these are just the main ones!

When you take the attributes of God and authority only God has the right to give, as seen here, and transfer them to someone else...like it or not...that's called an idol. There is no nice way to white wash that...and if you've been spinning this to your kids...yeah you should be upset.

And when you're done being ticked off at me for pointing it out, then be honest and assess your beliefs and the ones you are fostering in your children. We are in a battle for our children's hearts and minds.

As the tragedy of this past Friday in Connecticut fades, let this reality remain...Who do you want your child to know when they are scared and alone? If their mind is so focused and full of "Santa" and the fun stories about him, crowding out truth...what have you given them really? A terror made more awful by a dark mind...and I'm not talking about the shooter.

If you have taught your children "Santa is real" I would urge you to have an honest conversation with your kids...NOT about saying Santa is real or not real...it SO not about THAT...but an "I'm sorry I took what only belongs to God and gave it to a fairytale". And then EXPLAINing the difference is going to speak volumes to your kids for their LIFETIME!

That you believe in the Power of an always present Savior, all powerful King, and All knowing being "to whom all things lay open and naked and from whom nothing is hid"...who is coming again and whose return merits all the fabricated pomp we give to a fictitious being...wow, what greater gift and empowerment can you give to your children this Christmas season...That doesn't even TOUCH the Greatest Gift of All...JESUS and the true magic that fills the gospel message...When this is done, Santa rightfully pales by comparision and becomes only what he should be... a sideline, not the focus!

For an alternative to the All or NOTHING Santa bandwagons...please consider my post in Dec of last year: Can Christians Like Santa?

Thanks for Reading!

Blessings by Way of the "Nasties"

If you've followed this blog for any length of time you know one of my favorite Palms is Ps. 107.

I actually memorized it with a once mentor, and always friend in the Lord.That was a long time ago and though I'm hard pressed to remember all of it now, I remember with perfect clarity the expressed message of hope when all is hopeless. And how much God delights in turning "fortune" on a dime and changing the wheel of fate to which ever direction He so desires!

You can not enjoy the previous statement without having utter confidence in the true nature of God. Anything else, and you risk developing unhealthy fear of Him...or supreme resentment towards Him, assuming you believe in His sovereign authority at all.

For myself, I've only to look at the Cross and Resurrection to settle both erroneous and imbalanced views in my heart, which yes, do come up from time to time.

I LOVE the last 2 verses in Ps 107. Allow me to quote them here...

"The righteous see it and rejoice. And all iniquity stops its mouth Whoever is wise will observe these things And they will understand the lovingkindness of the Lord."

Feel free to glance below...but really, this is a blessing list to remind ME of the obviously loving kindness of the Lord...because only HE could have made these things happen...I stand, I stand in AWE of YOU...

1. No one contracted the disease from us. Even during the time when we were most infested, 4-6 weeks, and prior to discovering what was wrong. And even though we had several people over and went over friends and family's homes...
2. Considering all the cases on the Internet, apparently we had a mild case as it was caught in time. Many, Many people go months and even a year or two with out proper diagnosis.
3. The girls were fabulous about the baths/lotions/examinations (me and drs)~ Of course I helped it out by putting letting them watch TV via laptop in the bathroom...but still, when I was sure they'd mutiny and I was more than sympathetic and feeling if they did, I'd just cave in...they never did. Thank you, girls...Thank you dearest Lord.
4. For as much stuff (home remedies) and sulfur and 3 times Permethrin 5% (compared to the 1% to kill lice...the girls bodies are pristine. Next to nothing to speak of for post-scabies issues. My oldest's eczema even stayed under wraps (likely due to the Borax...which we will continue to use for EVERY bath they take for the rest of our lives...or their life with me, anyway.
5. Every person we encountered during our most difficult 3-5 week period was kind and 98% had no idea what was going on with us...or that anything was going on. Blew me away.
6. I'd had a wistful thought earlier in the summer about going away to the beach on my anniversary. We OBVIOUSLY couldn't because CC was going to start that week and school for Arowyn would be underway...and just too much stood in the way. Well...we took our 2nd Perm. treatment (afterwards you are supposedly cured!) , hopped in a rented vehicle we had delivered and having toasted all our clothes and put them in those huge Ziploc bags now available, we headed towards the beach...on the week of my Anniversary!
7. Had the most amazing meal at the Breakwater Restaurant in Hatteras, NC on the water at the end of the OBX area ON our Anniversary. Got awful reviews...but we had a Perfect time. Tried to give a good review online...didn't take, so will try again later.
8. Nearly the whole time we had fabulous weather. in the lower 80's nearly all of AUGUST!!! Just amazing after the record 100 temps we had early in the summer. This allowed us to be outside as much as possible. (I even folded clothes outside! I'm sure the neighbors thought I'd cracked!)
9. Speaking of neighbors, during this time our neighbors across the street, very Godly and lovely young couple, my husband told them a little bit about what we were going through lest my odd behavior be noted and the psych people came to take me away (I packed and unpacked the car MANY times in hopes of killing a lot of the nasties at once. at 120 degrees F. they die after 22 minutes...A car can get up to 145 in 86 degree temps. if it's in full sun and locked up....well that's the top...I didn't realize the floor only gets to around 95 ! I tried!:) Anyway, they told us that one of them had it as a missionary kid overseas. The fact that they lived through it and here it was 20 years later kept me mindful of the eventual recovery in store...especially when things got really dark and overwhelming.
10. Our electric bill only went up about $50. A huge help since we thought it was going to be well over $500! Amazing to me!
11. Rick's job allowed him to be available during some really crucial periods. Incredible!!
12. Insurance!
13. I've become a bit claustophopic because of this situation. I use to make fun of Rick who always needs the aisle seat. Now, I"M the one who needs the aisle seat!!! lol. This was especially bad the week we left town after the 2nd treatment. Leaving was suggested by those "in the know" about it in order to give whatever is left in the environment a chance to die. Well, we stopped of at a little cabin at the KOA in Rodanthe, NC (OBX) for 2 nights. I can not even tell you the amazing, open feeling I got from being there. The whole camp is inset between the dunes before the ocean and the main road. as I walked up to get to the ocean, I turned in the brilliant sunlight to see the whole expanse of this small campground laid out before me. It was open and though small, it was spacious and CLEAN. If you've ever read a Bernstein Bears book with a map of the town laid out plain and simple...it was exactly like that...exactly what I needed! I felt the loving care of my Lord in that moment to find us a place that so perfectly matched the battered needs and concerns of my heart. It feel like aloe on sunburn. I was moved to tears...and still am.
14. Rick got stopped by a police officer. He was going 6 miles over the speedlimit!!! The police officer saw how we were packed (ziplock bags) and the rental car. We told him about our "problem"...he was very kind and let us go with just a warning.
15. As Rick was on business the week we left town, we couldn't very well stay at the beach for more than 2 days. (He'd business in the area, but not that much) So we had to find two different hotels, one in Suffolk VA and one in Virginia Beach. Both were Marvelously clean and again spacious, both in the room and also in the hotels themselves.
16. Because my dr. didn't really know what she was doing (she told me I could probably teach HER about this) she eventually brought in another dr. to help...that dr. cleared us. A week later, still having severe itching and other significant symptoms, I stopped by a local Dermatologist office. They are booked out for several months for new patients. I told the receptionist about my daughter's yelp the night before and me going to her bed and asking her what was wrong and my 2 year old rubbing her hand saying "crickets on me". I was crying by this point and the receptionist nearly was too. She put me into a spot at 8:30 the next morning in a cancellation that she had JUST received unto the books. We where able to be given reassurance that we were healed (even though we were far from feeling like it).
17. My dear friend and sister in Christ helped me remember to add...The Lord gave me grace and strength when I looked up (Ps 107). There was a time at the beginning for about 2 weeks where I didn't look up. I looked down, down at the floors, the girls EVERYTHING. I was ruthless and aggressive! Then started realizing I wasn't getting anywhere. Sure, Arowyn's sores where healing and going away, but other symptoms kept popping up. Funny thing is, at the beginning of the summer I set about the whole family memorizing Hebrews 12. I draw pictures to help us memorize scripture. We...we weren't faithful to do it (another lesson :) but the copied scripture stayed taped up in our school room. About the time I started really looking to the Lord and drawing close to Him he gave me Hebrews 12:12-13. then I remembered the task we'd set about in the beginning. I entered the "forbidden zone" of our school room, took the chapter down and carry it around with me now, reminding me of who I am and that chastening of the Lord is something "of which ALL {who are sons and daughters of God in spirit} have become partakers". The Lord gave great strength and determination.
18. The Lord has changed my attitude towards my home and teaching school. I did with faithfulness the job God had given me to do. My house, kids and schoolwork got done, but it was a "Have to do" job, not a delight to do. And though I don't remember grumbling and complaining about housework and the like, I never attacked it with much vigor unless we had company coming over. Which we often had because we enjoy having people over, but also because I wanted to get the house clean and knew I wouldn't do a good job of it, without that incentive. Now, I LOVE a clean house. I don't like the fact that I have to wait til Friday or Sat. to clean the floors! I would clean the floors EVERYDAY if it were practical! Laundry used to pile up in my bedroom. It was always clean...so I didn't feel the sense of urgency to get it folded. Now, I get it folded and put away within hours...this IS the POWER of God at work in my life.
19. (this has to do with 18.)At the beginning of this whole thing, and right before we KNEW what was wrong, we where over a new friend's house. She mentioned that cleaning was a joy to her. I thought she was crazy. She also has 9 kids (10th on the way) and doesn't wake up at 4 in the morning or stay up til midnight to get things done...and she is VERY productive. I was baffled and told her as much. Well we had a nice talk and then my family left...the next 2 months the Lord showed me by trial, what she had learned by Grace..."Whatever your hand finds to do, do it whole heartily, as onto the Lord!" And Proverbs 31:17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks. May I never forget it.                              .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

And, may I come back time and again to this precious list, mindful of a Father's care for his daughter...

The Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom...

For sometime now I've suspected I did not fear the Lord in the manner befitting a child of the King.

Awe, wonder, love, worship, adore...but fear?
What have I to fear from the Lord?

Then a neat song from my girls CD caught my attention. The song is called Where It All Begins. It talks about the Proverbs verses that remind us "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

A dialogue between the Lord and I ensued. Lord...do I...do I...fear you like I should? His response? He showed me ways I chose not to fear him, but chose instead to walk in my own ways...Not too good, when you carry His name around like a badge.

Imagine for me, if you would, a household thrown into a situation where each room in the house looks like a Hazmat team has been to visit. Every piece of furniture is covered in plastic. Beds, sofa, love seat. Every cushion and pillow bagged and every hard surfaced furniture from bed frames to tables to chairs to desks has a little snack cup at the bottom of every leg, containing a baking soda like substance called Diatomaceous Earth, food grade of course.

Imagine cleaning every hard surface, including door knobs and light switches, bathrooms, floors and tables, tops and bottoms, everyday.

Imagine a floor that sometimes went months without being mopped, swept and mopped not once, but twice a day, everyday, with Borax and hydrogen peroxide.

Imagine washing and drying 8-10 loads of laundry a day...Most of which are the bedding 4 people slept in the night before.

Imagine trying to balance the delicate PH of your 6 and 2 year old's skin with hot Borax Baths, intense scrubbing, air drying and lathering "Goopy Grandma" as the girls call it, on them with home made salves  attempting to heal what damage was just done. ~TWICE a day.

Imagine doing this routine for 2 months straight...while cloistering yourself away from friends, family and the Body of Christ because GOD forbid someone get this from you, all because you were lonely.

Imagine using EVERYTHING you can possibly think of or read on the Internet and because someone, somewhere swares it's what cured them, you use all your vacation money + in pursuit of a "cure" and use your own body as a guinea pig, because you can't stand watching and hearing your girls being hurt by something you can only see when it dies and (apparently) feel when it molts, tearing tiny pieces of your skin, making you wince in pain and feeling, as my two year old calls it, "Splinters, Mommy."

 Well, that and the burning night itching, and open, weeping sores that go weeks without closing, add residual crawling sensations across your eyes, nose and ears that don't let up for weeks on end, causing headaches by mid-day and serious melt-downs where you just want to die to escape the mental anguish that's become your daily life.

Move back with me in time, before the game plan hits the scene, the time before your home is turned into a war zone and your once lovingly decorated rooms are piled high with big, black plastic bags, or are closed off entirely or turned into something resembling a refugee camp.

Imagine the time between the realization that you didn't take this seriously enough (so now everyone in your family is infected with this parasitic disease instead of the one child that brought it home) and the time before you know what to do about it and that its going to take the type of Hebrews 12:12 kind of work "strengthening the hands that hand down and knees that are feeble" to bring about the end of verse 13, as God allows.."in order that it won't get worse and that you may be healed".

This is what that period looks like:

It's 2:30 in the morning. My two and six year olds have been transplanted to the couch and loveseat, me, with no other place to rest but on the dining room table trying to sleep, knowing all the while there's a pestilence that walks by day and runs by night in our home at about 1 inch a minute. It's fast and it's one goal in it's month long life, is to feed on and burrow into human skin, mate and make other parasites under human skin.

It sounds like yelps in my daughters' sleep and waking at 1:30 EXACTLY to a burning itch.
It smells like cleaning solutions, olive oil and aquaphor.
It looks like sorrow and despair.

But in actuality it is Hebrews 12, the loving discipline of the Lord.

If you know the Lord Jesus Christ as the savior of your soul...then you know him as:

"The Lord" having sovereign right and authority to reign as he wishes over your life,

"Jesus" God who dwells with us, knows what our trials feel like, as he has passed through everyone of them FIRST

"Christ" the promised one, the one that should come to save sinners, "of whom I am chief:"

These truths came up time and again, when I cried out "Where are you?" The Lord answered in his perfect Word with encouragement and hope saying, "I'm right here. Trust me." Hebrews 13:5

or  when I groaned "Why would you give this to us?" "You need to grow, Alicha. Trust me in this." Hebrews 12

or when I sobbed "Don't you care that my babies are hurting." "They were mine first, as are you. You have only to trust me..." Job 13:15

or in quiet, calm moments that eventually came...when I sought, "When will this be over?" the answer came, "In MY time, not yours." with a reminder of Romans 8:32  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

To be brought lovingly to the point where I understand this is not my body, but HIS. To finally say without a shred of resentment or belligerence, "If you chose to continue to afflict this, YOUR body, today, I submit."

And then as in Ps. 107 to offer up the sacrifice of Thanksgiving.

That is God's Grace being manifest.

But I also learned to FEAR the Lord...

You see, I'm a very harsh mother. I'm Italian and Austrian...not a great combination for a graceful and quiet spirit. .Plus there's a good bit of rage-aholic in my family background. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not mean or abusive...I'm demanding and critical. I'm stern. And before this whole period, about 5pm was my breaking point where I started munching heads around the house.

Well, as you can imagine, this trial put me over the edge. Instead of my 5pm threashold, it became an all day thing, as I stuggled to keep up with everything, entertain two bored little girls and keep my sanity.

I blew up, I melted down and I LOST it many time over. EVEN as I was learning...

Thank the LORD, early on I saw the need for spiritual help. I called a friend I trust and she's prayed me through this whole thing. And I saw my threshold go from All day, back to 5, then to even 9pm to just being NICER!

A treasured moment with my 2 year old in the bathtub as I was thinking I can't wait to be done with this, she turned in my arms as I was scrubbing her little feet and legs and said, "You my best friend in the whooooole world!"

That couldn't have happened if I was busy barking commands out and demanding soldier like obedience! (Think Vontrap family ~ I had no problem with the whistle! :)

Anyway, I've regretted my sternness many times over the years, even sought the Lord's help, but until this happened, I never HAD to change. Or as I see it, I never chose to fear the Lord first.

You see, world wide, Scabies is pretty epidemic. But here, in the States, it's sorta unheard of. In fact one year ago a friend asked me on FB if my 6 year old might have scabies. She didn't and her poison oak was quickly resolved, but I was quietly offended. Why in the world would she think we had scabies. She's been to my house...we're clean people! Gosh! (BTW~ Has NOTHING to do with personal hygiene....the cleaning mentioned above is needed when they infest someone in your home).
 
Americans, for the most part, don't get Scabies. (Please don't email me if you have it, I obviously know we are out there!) But comparatively, our drs. aren't knowledgeable, our society hasn't a clue they exist in polite society (much like lice does). This and 2 different studies siting 200-450 individuals sleeping in the same bed a scabies infested person slept in, only 4 people got infested. (WHO signed up for that medical trial??!). All this to say, odds are good, you probably won't get it!

That's why I believe this was something hand picked, by God, for our family to endure. The Lord promises that submitting to His discipline, allowing it to work in our lives "will yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness". And it's working in my life. I'm not perfect. HA! Even today, I got a bit testy with my daughter. But the fear of God has pulled me back time and again, reminding me, this is not how Christ acts...It is not how I should act.I'm still learning...but now, I have motivation and what's more, I have seen that Peaceable fruit of righteousness.

Could the Lord give it to us again...sure. Will He? It's unlikely. But here's the real thing...Assuredly, he will use something else to draw us to Himself, to make us into the expressed image of Christ...I don't ever want to be standing in the way when that happens...I want to be waiting on His will...walking in His perfect ways.It won't make the situation magically go away...but it will accomplish something for His Glory and My Good without having to wade through all the mess of me!

Another thing...His Word has become supremely important in my life. That is another fabulous blessing (one of so many) from this trial! I hope to share a post soon on the many ways the Lord showed his lovingkindness during this difficult time...but if you have Scabies, I'll be putting up another post on what we found helped, what didn't, but until then, I encourage you to go to the website below. Of all the websites out there, and let me tell you most will leave you in tears and feeling hopeless, there is one that is so encouraging. It's: http://samoa6.hubpages.com/hub/Scabies-Can-Cause-Itching-and-Crawling-Sensations-On-Your-Skin You will learn LOTS...and not get depressed doing it.

Peace, Blessing, and remember in those dark night hours... THIS TOO SHALL PASS...It really will.

A long time coming

October 7, 2012...must have started it on the above date :)...

Okay~ This is going to be as brief as I can make it so I can get onto things that are affecting my life RIGHT NOW since July 20th and the overwhelming number of things the Lord has taught me through the most significant health issue of my life!

But first...

Read the previous post as an intro. if you need and I'll add this little bit...

In the garden, Eve did not sin in wanting to be like God. It was a noble desire. Indeed, it is the highest of pursuits. And I think because we know Satan has the desire to be God, and know his involvement in the whole fall of man thing...we can fall into thinking she desired a bad thing...it wasn't. The problem is that it was twisted. She was deceived in the means, not motivation, to fulfill a God given desire...aren't we called to "Be like Christ?"

Before I call attention to these issues below, I acknowledge that there is a huge part of me that leans on and desires the means below as a measure, a placement and a direction to take me to that place where I am completely and utterly Christlike, mature and settled, "full of love and good fruit" and "always abounding in the work of the Lord!".

But I stumbled on the dunes and found these methods are in fact mirages in a dessert.

Contemplative Prayer and "Silence"~

 There is no nice way to say this.

It is demonic...as in 1 Timothy 4:1...an actual demonic doctrine. Be a noble Berean and look it up! WHERE it came from, WHO is promoting it now and what the ultimate, "finished" product looks like...climatically: the indwelling of a demonic being for those who don't know the Lord...all because you wanted to be like God and listen to "God within you". Which we say is the Holy Spirit...but in truth the Holy Spirit uses the WORD of God to convict, to comfort. What said doctrine does, it leads you in a path that ends up being the walking plank of the Black Pearl!

Jesus, our ultimate example, NEVER dwelt in silence to his listeners (NEVER is this doctrine purported in scripture). He prayed the Word of God; He prayed the Will of God... He is called the "Word" for a reason, people!!! Silence has a place...it is to listen, not to the inward parts of us, but to his WORD! You start listening to yourself and not washing your heart and mind with the Word of God...you in trouble!

Well, what about the Holy Spirit???? His place is to convict and to comfort and exalt the Father and Son, the Word!

That Word doesn't say "God will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is free floating and open...NO! It says whose mind is "stayed upon" the LORD. Strong's Concordance reference # 5564. Worth looking up! ~ btw~ I don't believe a true believer can become demonically possessed (Thank you Father for the Holy Spirit!) BUT they can be led astray and lead others astray too...)

Hebrews 4:12

King James Version (KJV)

¹² For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discern er of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Some say, well, I'm listening to the Holy Spirit...the Holy Spirit speaks through HIS WORD, not our filter....HIS!

2 Timothy 3:16-17

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷ so that the servant of God^[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

The Emerging  Church or The Catholic Section...

If you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and you need him to save you from your sins. Period...I mean nothing else AT ALL...the bible says "you WILL be saved". If anything in your heart rears up squeamishly saying in a quiet whisper, "Well, you have to be a good person too..." You are on your way to hell. You need to turn from your self-righteousness and come empty handed to the Throne of Grace.

Can I be any clearer???

BUT, the fact is, I'm not sharing the gospel to unbelievers here....most likely, if you've read this far, you are a believer that just may have fallen for the heresy of, "Well, as long as they believe the first part...isn't the second part just in error? (kinda like pretrib/post tribulation differences)

Here's a clue that you are adding the heresy of this vein. Do you say things like, "Oh, I have a lot of friends in the Catholic Church and I know they are going to heaven. We talked about it and they've trusted Jesus as their Savior."

Here's an absolute equation:

JESUS + MAN = NOT OF GOD

Truth is exclusive...it is ALL JESUS and NONE of ME that = Salvation
Ephesians 2:8-9

New International Version (NIV)

⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast.

 

This seems to be, in modern times at any rate, a difficult idea to grasp for the believer in particular. I say that as countless historical periods (the Spanish Inquisition and Dark Ages) and even famous writers (George Elliot/ Victor Hugo/ Charlotte Bronte) on the "other side of things" as in the Jesus plus me equation, understood the stalk difference in the belief of those whose salvation comes by faith and those who promote salvation by faith + works. They (the mentioned authors) scoff the salvation by faith alone in some of their major works of fiction.

 

BTW~ for those of you playing on the outskirts of the catholic faith because you like the ceremonies and traditions which give the flesh an "idea of closeness with the Lord you need to read the Timonthys' and Thessilonians' and then read about the OT King Ahaz that brought into the Tabernacle items from the Pagan gods to go along side the items the Lord said should be in the Temple. You, my friend, are doing the same thing.

Following URL is a fabulous article about King Ahaz:

 

http://www.enduringword.com/commentaries/1216.htm

 

NEXT UP:

 

"Do not despise the Word of the God."

 

All over scripture there are various forms of the above phrase. I always thought it had to do with hating scripture...not so! It's counting scripture as less. As this...plus that. It's having habitual services focused on singing and praying and neglecting the only thing/power that transforms with a washing of the Word of God. It's counting the Words as an "also appearing" instead of "starring".

 

A quick evaluation of the church you go to and your own patterns will tell you if your pastor or your heart has fallen away from the scriptures or is clinging to the Word like the life boat it is.

Love, love, LOVE Sara Groves song "The Word" Lyrics tell it better than I can...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ofE-GZ8zTU

 

 SECOND to LAST POINT:

 

As with most of my points here, I failed utterly and miserably until the day AFTER a day this past spring as I sat talking with a friend when I agreed that we can read something for the good and just dismiss the bad.

Please do not be purposely obtuse here...I'm not talking about objectionable elements in fiction. I'm talking about doctrinal/ patterned Christian-Walk books promoting the idea that they are reflecting the Word of God! When books like Sacred Rhythm's give a little bit of truth masked in the words and then promote by reference or quotes or in themselves teach ideas diametrically OPPOSED to the Gospel of the Living Christ! (And no, it's not the odd quote here and there, but this came up time and again as we looked up these heretics the author was quoting...starting with the FOUNDER OF THE COUNTER REFORMATION!!!!)

Anyway, we should not be lending our eyes/ears to such false teachers and those who knowingly or unwittingly misrepresent of the exclusive truth of scripture!

 

We do not need to, actually we should NOT, glean the "good" from false teachers and leave the bad. I do not need the false teaching of Lao-Tzu, Confucius, Buddha or Joel Olsteen to make me well-rounded. You know, the liberals have it right...Christ followers ARE narrow minded! It's what makes truth TRUE! There is only one truth...pretty narrow, don't you think? And in case you think I'm being a little harsh, Jesus said it himself, "NARROW is the way" that leads to life!" Matt. 7:14

 

I think there has been a dramatic shift in the Christ Follower's approach (at least in our Western Culture) towards false teachers. Common practice USED to be, let's research to expose the false aspects of this teaching to (now) let's learn what we can to help in our daily walk with Christ and just leave the rest (the lies).
 

Have we all gone mad??? 

WHAT COMMUNION HAS LIGHT WITH DARKNESS???

What minimal understanding can these boast of in light of the holy men and women who have made a fiery path for us to follow, not to mention THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE BIBLE!?

Playing off of C.S.Lewis' analogy of the chicken, the egg and it's poo....I say this...Should we dissect the regurgitations of an owl simply because there are whole pieces of rodents that might be salvageable for human consumption? GROSS! Neither should we consume that which God regards as the principles of this world simple because there might be a shiver or even a vein of truth in it. Cut out the middle man and go for the Word! (Again, please don't be a dork and say I'm saying never read theological books or look at your Christian Living section of Life Way. But your Berean mindset better be turned ON!)

 

Finally, a word about Tenibris Services and the Gospel.

 

If we know the Lord, we CAME from darkness and have been brought into the LIGHT. We are NOW the light. ANYONE who promotes the idea of revisiting darkness should be held highly suspect as a false teacher. This was the last straw in a series of oak branches falling on a perfectly wonderful time I was having being actively involved in the church we just left. During said service we were told we might hear strange noises in the dark...(be they real or faked for effect, I'm thinking "WHAT???") 'nuff said there.

AND...If you are under a ministry where Christ and the cross are not the focal point (forefront or distant) in EVERY MESSAGE, there is a serious problem. The Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ has a two fold purpose in a church gathering; it is both a purifier and a purger. It purifies the believer, reminding the flock of the whys, whats of our faith and the Who of our lives. It also purges those opposed to the true message of the Gospel and will expel them out of the church because they CAN NOT abide it.

Warning~ I will not be arguing these statements with anyone so unless your comment is one of understanding and encouragement, we have nothing about which to correspond. There are plenty out there that love to argue...go find them. These truths are as much a part of my statement of faith as the Apostolic Creed. These are points I would die defending. They are not peripheral and they are not negotiable. Amen.