Is This How God Feels...

when we love Him?

Last night, I watched "The Cape" for the first time with my family in Richmond. Got the gist of the good guy, but the storyline focused on his nemesis the incredibly attractive Peter Fleming. Apparently, he is your bad guys' bad guy with a psychopathic split personality. Well, he falls for a lady whose talent is predicting ratio probability to such an extent it seems like she can predict the future. There's a slight complication, he killed her Father and now she wants to kill him. And she almost succeeds each of the THREE times she tries. (It is TV, after all)

Anyway, as unbelievable the premise, the characters and the occasional cheesy lines (ex: I killed your father, can't we push past that?"), and ever the romantic, I found myself caught up in the idea of someone being so evil and yet putting himself in harms way each time he met his beautiful assassin just so he could see her again. He praised her, her beauty of course, her talents, treated her gently, could have had her killed instantly, but instead provided a wide girth, giving her room to move, to plan, to retaliate. At first there was nothing between them except his interest and her father's death, but by the end of this 45 minute show there was a believable twist of truth between them, he exposed her for the "science experiment" she was while still offering her a place with him in his evil plans, not really sure what those evil plans were. The lady in question made an acceptable attitude change when she answered the obvious growing attraction between them...right before she tries to blow him up...again. Truly, it was FABULOUS FUN!

Well, I like to write and one of the ways I can learn to write better is to think on, dissect and manipulate story lines that work. This "bad guy falling for his beautiful enemy" formula is done to DEATH. And why not...there is something tantalizing and seductive about it (I don't only mean that in a sexual way).  Okay, I'm not naive. I don't think the bad guy is after marriage in the burbs and 1.5 children.(and who said that was "Happily Ever After" anyway?) But if the possibility isn't there that their "love" might bring about such utter transformation, then it's not believable and will not invite the watcher/reader to suspend reality for a while and hope that "YES, we CAN get beyond you killing her father!"

Next is a hypothesis which breaks down here and there, but I think the point valid and worth making. What is that irresistible urge to get drawn into the heart of someone so evil as a sacrificial, put-me-in-harms-way love overcomes the natural self-preserving instincts of said villain? Perhaps, one might argue the love doesn't originate with the evil one at all, rather it is an obvious, almost compulsory, response to the person who is the object of his affection. He can't help it and this love will inevitable do one of two things depending on the authors intent to make a comedy or a tragedy in the classic sense of both words. (Comedies have happy endings and Tragedies, well, don't) It will change him or destroy him. Either way it will effect him forever.

Whose relationship does that shout out to you!!! God said, "While you were my enemies, Christ died for you!" Correctly seen, Christ is irresistible, his person evokes response not in a general way, but a personal, I have touched your life and by my power you draw your next breath kind of way. He shows us beauty beyond the physical, he knows our horrors and loves as through them. Make no mistake, we are the villains of our stories. In truth, there is not an instant where I am not the most vile of sinners...it's okay because my companion in villainy is you, dear friend. For those who yield, we are the comedies of Christ's love. To those who don't, they become Christ's tragedies...either way, he is the author and we are his story lines!

We walk on water too...

Casting Crown's Voice of Truth brought this 2 year old post to mind yesterday. Here are some key lyrics...

~~~But the Voice of truth tells me a different story

the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"

and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth...~~~

I envied Peter. He knew the feel of sliding liquid beneath his feet, instead of firm ground, and still...he walked. The whole experience so foreign, so unforgettable. Think about it for a moment. The boat, a place he'd lived his whole life, feeling more at home on it than Matthew or John would have. The wind, an element never to be underestimated. Jesus, the one foretold since the beginning of time, his teacher and friend. And let's not forget his mouth which got him out of the boat in the first place. Remember what he said, "Lord if it is you..." And there it is...Even before getting out of the boat, Peter has questions, but he questions WITH hope.

Not too long ago I was looking back, not always a bad thing, remembering what it felt like when I dwelt with the Lord during painful times. I kinda' camped out in his grace, saw by the light of his mercy, and moment by moment was made mindful of the "hope of his calling". He tells us through Jeremiah, "I know the plans that I have for you, plans for good not evil, to give you a future and a hope." More than any other verse, I held on to that one in particular.

The past couple of years, I've had a sorta reprieve from chaos. The rain dissipated and the gardens of my life had a chance to grow in sunlight, the tears I had cried, full of the nourishing Word of God, fell on my parched soul, allowing the Lord to produce certain fruits in my life.

But there is something bittersweet about the time before the sun. A time when I saw only clouds of sorrow hovering over the horizon; when I trusted that the sun was still there, while embracing the storms. Looking back, I struggled for words to describe what it felt like being with the Lord, depending on him for my EVERYTHING.

At first the word 'floating' came to mind...but that was too easy a description for what I felt, what I went through. Carry? Not that either. I didn't feel carried, though I felt upheld. I felt...steadied. I felt the lion's breath, but not his teeth; the heat from the fire, but not the flame; the water, but not the waves. In a very real sense to me, I realized with surprise, it felt like I had walked on water with Christ. I walked with faith and, amazingly, there were times I didn't sink. But when the doubts began to overwhelm me and I faltered, the wind picked up and the waves rose up against me, I called out, just as Peter had, and He upheld me by his righteous right hand and guided me to a 'safe harbor' (Psalm 107).

But now, it seems, I've been too long on shore. My feet have gotten dry and I've begun to long for the salty air of ocean breezes and the constant dependency upon my Savior, who is closer than a brother. I've seen the warning signs from the harbor, the storms are returning. But this time, it's different. This time I remember...we do not walk so well with God in gardens anymore; so He takes us out into deep waters, that we may know our feet are made of clay. But God, who delights to do the impossible, has caused me to walk on water before, and by his strength, I look forward to meeting him out there again. Out beyond the 'safe harbor', out where faith changes the very nature of the elements as God transforms their effects on the very soul.

To God be the Glory, great things he has done and is doing...in all our lives!