Last week Rick was out of town for a day or two, so Arowyn and I had a sleep over in her room! As a surprise I got the movie "Tangled" for us to watch. First off let me just say it was not nearly as stuilly (stupid and silly) as I thought it'd be. I actually laughed at a few parts. Which ever...the point was to have a great time with my big baby girl and we did ~ complete with ice cream. I mean after all, what girlie gathering is complete without ICE CREAM!!
Anyway, there's a part in the movie, actually several I heard myself echoing to my daughter (like Rapunzel being someone worth waiting for :). This part was so profound I've found my mind returning to it several times over the last week. It's when Rapunzel first touches her foot to the ground after 18 years of being up in the tower and never feeling freedom.
She feels elated...she feels fear.
If you haven’t seen it, watch it for the visual aid. It’s like watching a human roller coaster, both emotionally and physically. If you have seen it, YOU KNOW I speak truth! The girl is everywhere. Here are some quotes as she dances and flops her way around...
”I LOVE it down here!”
“I am a horrible human being.”
“I’m NEVER going back!”
“What kind of awful person am I?”
Rapunzel is absolutely torn. An 80’s song just came to mind~ “Should I stay or should I go now? If go there will be trouble, if I don’t there will be double.” But as I was watching it, I thought that’s what James 1:8 person is like, whether on the outside or in…that’s a double minded man!
James 1: 6-8 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
This has personal significance to me. We're changing up the way we do my daughter's homeschooling. I looked at something called Classical Conversations. We went to an "open house", and Arowyn just LOVED the schoolroom feel of it and I loved how much she learned. With a bunch of girls there and all learning and learning well…I went home from it torn…I prayed, took a nap and woke up with complete peace that this was the way FOR ME to walk. And, within two weeks time, I had the way TO the means to provide for the first year of school! Talk about God paving the way! But doubts started. Fear began. I started listening to the chatter around me, the static within me.
Is this just a cop-out?
Maybe the Lord wants to show me his strength through my weakness.
Didn’t I chose homeschooling over the traditional classroom...isn't this just the same as school?
What am I doing! I’m a horrible teacher!
We've made sweet friends at our co-op now...and to have to start over...is that fair?
Can we spell Rapunzel???
Boiled down, I did what James 1 said. I asked God for wisdom believing he would give it, knowing he has more of a vested interest in Arowyn's success than I do...I believe I received wisdom to proceed. But then I began to be the man of James 1:8. Going back and forth like that, that causes more unrest in those around me (ie my daughter and husband) than the change ever would.
Doubt is like mold...it's so easily vanquished in the light of Christ's love and provision...but it so easily returns with stagnant air and rain, the chaos of thunder and lightening. So hold fast, stand firm. Know yourself for the child of The King, the redeemed of the most High!
I love a song by Twila Paris "Every Heart that is Breaking Tonight" it's an amazing song and if I can attach it I will, otherwise, YouTube it...you're in for a treat. The song reminds me of all that God sees...that he sees each of us, where we're at. When we catch a hold of that truth, oh how the mold of doubt flees and light expels the darkness, bringing hope in our everyday lives.
About Me
- Alicha McHugh
- Blue Ridge Area of Virginia
- Alicha McHugh is author of "Daughter of the Promise" first in her: Numbered Among the Stars series (available on Amazon.com). She is a homemaker to her husband of 15 years, homeschooler to their children. Writing, enjoying tea and creaming Raw Honey are three of her current pursuits. Grabbing time to read is always high on her list of priorities! If you'd like to contact her, she'd love to hear from you! Just email: alichamchugh@gmail.com
1 comment:
I know exactly how you feel about the schooling of your child. I had homeschooled my children for five years, got pregnant again and decided I couldn't do it anymore -- having four mischievous boys (one of whom disappeared on a regular basis) and two toddling girls, I was overwhelmed. But God is merciful.
Yes, when it comes to serving/following God, we should be steadfast. Seeing wishy-washy people or being one yourself is not pretty, it is quite dizzying.
On the otherhand,I think we humans tend to think when God calls us or inspires us to do something, we tend to think it will be a forever constant. But God sometimes has us go through seasons of change, so we can grow spiritually. God is the only thing who doesn't change -- ever, He doesn't need to. I have learned to not think b/c I am doing so-and-so today, I will be five years from now.
Thanks for the post! I went to bed thinking about it!
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