The Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom...

For sometime now I've suspected I did not fear the Lord in the manner befitting a child of the King.

Awe, wonder, love, worship, adore...but fear?
What have I to fear from the Lord?

Then a neat song from my girls CD caught my attention. The song is called Where It All Begins. It talks about the Proverbs verses that remind us "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

A dialogue between the Lord and I ensued. Lord...do I...do I...fear you like I should? His response? He showed me ways I chose not to fear him, but chose instead to walk in my own ways...Not too good, when you carry His name around like a badge.

Imagine for me, if you would, a household thrown into a situation where each room in the house looks like a Hazmat team has been to visit. Every piece of furniture is covered in plastic. Beds, sofa, love seat. Every cushion and pillow bagged and every hard surfaced furniture from bed frames to tables to chairs to desks has a little snack cup at the bottom of every leg, containing a baking soda like substance called Diatomaceous Earth, food grade of course.

Imagine cleaning every hard surface, including door knobs and light switches, bathrooms, floors and tables, tops and bottoms, everyday.

Imagine a floor that sometimes went months without being mopped, swept and mopped not once, but twice a day, everyday, with Borax and hydrogen peroxide.

Imagine washing and drying 8-10 loads of laundry a day...Most of which are the bedding 4 people slept in the night before.

Imagine trying to balance the delicate PH of your 6 and 2 year old's skin with hot Borax Baths, intense scrubbing, air drying and lathering "Goopy Grandma" as the girls call it, on them with home made salves  attempting to heal what damage was just done. ~TWICE a day.

Imagine doing this routine for 2 months straight...while cloistering yourself away from friends, family and the Body of Christ because GOD forbid someone get this from you, all because you were lonely.

Imagine using EVERYTHING you can possibly think of or read on the Internet and because someone, somewhere swares it's what cured them, you use all your vacation money + in pursuit of a "cure" and use your own body as a guinea pig, because you can't stand watching and hearing your girls being hurt by something you can only see when it dies and (apparently) feel when it molts, tearing tiny pieces of your skin, making you wince in pain and feeling, as my two year old calls it, "Splinters, Mommy."

 Well, that and the burning night itching, and open, weeping sores that go weeks without closing, add residual crawling sensations across your eyes, nose and ears that don't let up for weeks on end, causing headaches by mid-day and serious melt-downs where you just want to die to escape the mental anguish that's become your daily life.

Move back with me in time, before the game plan hits the scene, the time before your home is turned into a war zone and your once lovingly decorated rooms are piled high with big, black plastic bags, or are closed off entirely or turned into something resembling a refugee camp.

Imagine the time between the realization that you didn't take this seriously enough (so now everyone in your family is infected with this parasitic disease instead of the one child that brought it home) and the time before you know what to do about it and that its going to take the type of Hebrews 12:12 kind of work "strengthening the hands that hand down and knees that are feeble" to bring about the end of verse 13, as God allows.."in order that it won't get worse and that you may be healed".

This is what that period looks like:

It's 2:30 in the morning. My two and six year olds have been transplanted to the couch and loveseat, me, with no other place to rest but on the dining room table trying to sleep, knowing all the while there's a pestilence that walks by day and runs by night in our home at about 1 inch a minute. It's fast and it's one goal in it's month long life, is to feed on and burrow into human skin, mate and make other parasites under human skin.

It sounds like yelps in my daughters' sleep and waking at 1:30 EXACTLY to a burning itch.
It smells like cleaning solutions, olive oil and aquaphor.
It looks like sorrow and despair.

But in actuality it is Hebrews 12, the loving discipline of the Lord.

If you know the Lord Jesus Christ as the savior of your soul...then you know him as:

"The Lord" having sovereign right and authority to reign as he wishes over your life,

"Jesus" God who dwells with us, knows what our trials feel like, as he has passed through everyone of them FIRST

"Christ" the promised one, the one that should come to save sinners, "of whom I am chief:"

These truths came up time and again, when I cried out "Where are you?" The Lord answered in his perfect Word with encouragement and hope saying, "I'm right here. Trust me." Hebrews 13:5

or  when I groaned "Why would you give this to us?" "You need to grow, Alicha. Trust me in this." Hebrews 12

or when I sobbed "Don't you care that my babies are hurting." "They were mine first, as are you. You have only to trust me..." Job 13:15

or in quiet, calm moments that eventually came...when I sought, "When will this be over?" the answer came, "In MY time, not yours." with a reminder of Romans 8:32  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

To be brought lovingly to the point where I understand this is not my body, but HIS. To finally say without a shred of resentment or belligerence, "If you chose to continue to afflict this, YOUR body, today, I submit."

And then as in Ps. 107 to offer up the sacrifice of Thanksgiving.

That is God's Grace being manifest.

But I also learned to FEAR the Lord...

You see, I'm a very harsh mother. I'm Italian and Austrian...not a great combination for a graceful and quiet spirit. .Plus there's a good bit of rage-aholic in my family background. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not mean or abusive...I'm demanding and critical. I'm stern. And before this whole period, about 5pm was my breaking point where I started munching heads around the house.

Well, as you can imagine, this trial put me over the edge. Instead of my 5pm threashold, it became an all day thing, as I stuggled to keep up with everything, entertain two bored little girls and keep my sanity.

I blew up, I melted down and I LOST it many time over. EVEN as I was learning...

Thank the LORD, early on I saw the need for spiritual help. I called a friend I trust and she's prayed me through this whole thing. And I saw my threshold go from All day, back to 5, then to even 9pm to just being NICER!

A treasured moment with my 2 year old in the bathtub as I was thinking I can't wait to be done with this, she turned in my arms as I was scrubbing her little feet and legs and said, "You my best friend in the whooooole world!"

That couldn't have happened if I was busy barking commands out and demanding soldier like obedience! (Think Vontrap family ~ I had no problem with the whistle! :)

Anyway, I've regretted my sternness many times over the years, even sought the Lord's help, but until this happened, I never HAD to change. Or as I see it, I never chose to fear the Lord first.

You see, world wide, Scabies is pretty epidemic. But here, in the States, it's sorta unheard of. In fact one year ago a friend asked me on FB if my 6 year old might have scabies. She didn't and her poison oak was quickly resolved, but I was quietly offended. Why in the world would she think we had scabies. She's been to my house...we're clean people! Gosh! (BTW~ Has NOTHING to do with personal hygiene....the cleaning mentioned above is needed when they infest someone in your home).
 
Americans, for the most part, don't get Scabies. (Please don't email me if you have it, I obviously know we are out there!) But comparatively, our drs. aren't knowledgeable, our society hasn't a clue they exist in polite society (much like lice does). This and 2 different studies siting 200-450 individuals sleeping in the same bed a scabies infested person slept in, only 4 people got infested. (WHO signed up for that medical trial??!). All this to say, odds are good, you probably won't get it!

That's why I believe this was something hand picked, by God, for our family to endure. The Lord promises that submitting to His discipline, allowing it to work in our lives "will yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness". And it's working in my life. I'm not perfect. HA! Even today, I got a bit testy with my daughter. But the fear of God has pulled me back time and again, reminding me, this is not how Christ acts...It is not how I should act.I'm still learning...but now, I have motivation and what's more, I have seen that Peaceable fruit of righteousness.

Could the Lord give it to us again...sure. Will He? It's unlikely. But here's the real thing...Assuredly, he will use something else to draw us to Himself, to make us into the expressed image of Christ...I don't ever want to be standing in the way when that happens...I want to be waiting on His will...walking in His perfect ways.It won't make the situation magically go away...but it will accomplish something for His Glory and My Good without having to wade through all the mess of me!

Another thing...His Word has become supremely important in my life. That is another fabulous blessing (one of so many) from this trial! I hope to share a post soon on the many ways the Lord showed his lovingkindness during this difficult time...but if you have Scabies, I'll be putting up another post on what we found helped, what didn't, but until then, I encourage you to go to the website below. Of all the websites out there, and let me tell you most will leave you in tears and feeling hopeless, there is one that is so encouraging. It's: http://samoa6.hubpages.com/hub/Scabies-Can-Cause-Itching-and-Crawling-Sensations-On-Your-Skin You will learn LOTS...and not get depressed doing it.

Peace, Blessing, and remember in those dark night hours... THIS TOO SHALL PASS...It really will.